Dirty Royal Secrets
by FaerieTales4ever
Summary: REDO of an earlier story! Regina is being forced into an arranged marriage with a man she's never met- and for that matter, neither has her mother. No man has ever measured up to the Queen's prestigious standards for her daughter, so when Tinkerbelle gives Regina the opportunity to find her True love, she jumps at the chance. But things are much more complicated than they appear #O


Dirty Royal Secrets

**A/N: This is a new story inspired my friend and co-author, Charlotte Ashmore's fic Belle's Journal. It will be in diary format from Regina's POV. Hope you enjoy. As always I love reviews!**

**Summary: **REDO of an earlier story! Regina is being forced into an arranged marriage with a man she's never met- and for that matter, neither has her mother. No man has ever measured up to the Queen's prestigious standards for her daughter, so when Tinkerbelle gives Regina the opportunity to find her True love, she jumps at the chance. But things are much more complicated than they appear #OutlawQueen, #MadQueen, #CaptainQueen

**Disclaimer: Once Upon A Time and all character's and familiar dialogue from the show belong to Disney/ABC and the show's brilliant creators and writers. No profit is being made from this just having fun with my favorite show.**

**CHAPTER ONE**

_**July 15, 1997**_

_Dear Diary,_

_Tink said she has a special present for me since it's my 20__th_ _birthday, but I have to wait until tomorrow night to get it. Tonight, my mother insists on throwing me a celebratory ball to "announce me to the people." Yeah right! She just wants to pawn me off. I'm first in line to Daddy's throne. I have all the power she ever wanted, and yet still I am to be forced into an arranged marriage! Why must she torture me so? Does my happiness mean nothing to her? Wait…don't answer that, I already know. My only hope is that no suitors will come to call tonight. For the first time in my life, I _want _people to be afraid of me. Maybe that way, I can finally convince her to let me find a man on my own._

_Mother says I ought to be glad that most revere and cower from me. She says it is a sign of ultimate power and respect, but I say it's lonely. I'll never understand why she relishes in so much time alone. She only makes me sit alone when I'm in lessons or when I've done something to displease her and Daddy is around so she can't use her magic…how I hate that blasted stuff. Quiet isn't much better though, I can't stand it. Of all her demands though, this coming marriage in probably the most torturous. Why can't she see that the life she wishes for me is her dream, not mine? What must I do to stop this madness? I don't want to marry some stuffy old suitor only to raise my status and have him treat me like a porcelain doll on display. I am not a plaything, nor a prize to be won and bargained for. If and when I find love, it won't matter what status_ _he_ _is. But first, I must think of a way to stop my mother… if that's even possible. I wish Daddy would intervene, but he's too afraid to go against her. As much as I wish it weren't so, I can kind of understand it. It_ _pains me to think of the punishments she could inflict on him if he went against her. Should I be handed off tonight, that is the one reason I will look forward to this infernal arrangement. Once my new husband and I wed, I am taking my father to live with us and we are to be free of Cora forever._

_Most would be horrified to hear me talk of the woman who raised me with such a foul tongue, but if they only knew her. She is not a mother. She is naught but a cold, black-hearted witch who cares for little else but herself. I swear, if I could take my father and leave here tonight… I would run to the farthest edges of the Enchanted Forest and never look back._

_Alas, I fear my mother would send out an army. We'd be caught before we ever reached the edge of the kingdom…. _

_Oh well. At least I have Tink's present to look forward to…or dread. Lord only knows what it could be. I'm not sure whether I should be excited or nervous. Knowing Tink, probably both. I sure hope she hasn't gone crazy and set me up on yet another one of her "blind dates". I swear if I have to be courted by one more noble… I love the girl to death, but sometimes she's worse than Mother! Why is she so fascinated with guys anyway? It's like every time I see her she has yet _another _boy hanging on her arm! You'd think she'd be more concerned with finishing her apprenticeship with Blue than frolicking around with gaggles of men who act like lovesick puppies. But I guess I can kind of understand. Ancient Fairy Law states that when someone officially becomes a Fairy Godmother, they aren't allowed to fraternize with anyone- or more specifically, any man- who isn't of magical descent. Can you believe that? Still… why must she live her fantasies vicariously through _me _I ask you?_

_Oh no, "The Queen" is calling… time to get ready for the ball. I sure hope whatever Tink has planned tomorrow has nothing to do with another lavish party; I've had enough of those these past few weeks to last a lifetime thank you very much. Anyway, wish me luck!_

* * *

><p><em>July 15, 1997 (Later that night).<em>

_Dear Diary,_

_Mother would have a cow if she knew I was still awake, she says all royalty must get at least ten hours of sleep in order to look "presentable" (and yet she attends parties until two o' clock in the morning and comes home so wasted she can barely walk. How does _that _work?) but I'm much too excited to sleep. I thought this ball would be just like any other- dull and boring. I'm usually only allowed to fraternize with the nobles and suitors who come to call, all of whom are typically pompous princes from other kingdoms that only agree to indulge in associating with me in hopes that they can marry me and remove themselves from the shadows of their older brothers (as if I actually care about that!). They never want me for my person, only for my title. I've tried to make friends with the villagers, if only to get away from the strife of royal obligations, but most are too afraid. The one time my mother caught me talking to one of the few woman who dared speak to me, she went ballistic. She demanded demanded I never again talk to someone "below my stature" and then she… She threatened to send Riochante to the glue factory if I didn't behave! Of course, I agreed immediately, for I she knew I couldn't bear to live without my beloved pet and closest confident, but she didn't relent. Not before beating my beautiful horse so much and so brutally that my father had to call the vet, and very nearly called the coroner as well, fearing he wasn't going to make it. He survived, but I couldn't ride him for six months. My father was madder than I've ever seen him; he even threatened to divorce her!_

_That was the worst punishment she's ever given me. Ever since then, I've stayed away from the village. I try to please mother by keeping up this silly image she expects of me, but everyday, I wonder how much longer it will take her to realize that as happy as I act, I'm really miserable…_

_But tonight…tonight something amazing happened._

_It started out as any other ball would, me watching enviously from the throne between my mother and father as other couples waltzed gaily around the ballroom. (As much as my mother claims she is pining for me to find a husband, I'm only permitted to dance with those she deems "worthy." Again, how does that work?) I watched them twirl endlessly, longing to join in the fun, but as usual, mother denied my request._

"_Royalty never dances alone," she reprimanded briskly. Translation: Princesses can't have any fun. A few brave souls tried to approach me for a dance, but each one my mother quickly refused before I could open my mouth, leaving them to sulk away in shame. After three hours, I was beginning to think I wasn't even going to leave the throne tonight._

_Then _he _showed up. I still don't know who he was. It was a masked ball, so I could only see his eyes. Oh, but he had the most handsome eyes. The brightest, sparkliest green I had ever seen. Like emeralds. They danced even in the dim light of the candles. I didn't even hear what he said to my mother because I was so lost in them. But then he smiled at me and held out his hand inviting me to dance. I forgot how to speak when he grinned at me. A lopsided smile tinged with a hint of mischief. He had a dimple on his right side that deepened the longer he looked at me. I had to fight to keep my knees from going weak._

_I glanced at my mother. Chocolate eyes pleadingly met hazel as I silently begged her to say yes. She pursed her lips at first, and my stomach dropped. Of all the men she had denied me tonight, was she really going to forbid him to? I didn't think I could bear it if she did. I twined my hands together and worried my lip, waiting for the verdict. _

_After an eternity, my mother nodded. I grabbed his hand, unable to hide my enthusiasm as he twirled me out onto the floor. We danced for the rest of the night. It was the most fun I've had in ages._

_He told me he's a hunter, not a royal. I've never learned how to hunt; I've always thought it was cruel to kill animals that way. But as soon as I said as much, he shook his head and laughed. I scowled at him, wondering what exactly about that statement he found so amusing,_

_He grinned at me as though he were talking to a small child, "I said I was a hunter milady, why must you automatically assume I am a hunter of animals?" His accent was so incredibly charming, a deep rich, velvety voice that nearly made me start to drool. I shook that thought away and tried to focus on his question._

"_What other kind of hunting is there?" _

_I felt my cheeks flush red when he simply shot back, "Treasure."_

"_So you're a pirate then?" I asked, smirking at him._

"_Not exactly….I'm more of a….brigand." He smiled that devilish smile of his, clearly trying to distract me._

"_So… you're a bandit then?"" I taunted, innocently, batting my lashes._

That _caught him off guard. He stuttered a few unintelligible syllables, but before he could say anything of comprehension, I smirked and burst out laughing, "Relax , my devilish thief, I'm only joking. And even if that's what you are, I'm not going to turn you in."_

_The handsome outlaw let out a large, relieved sigh, "Th- Thank you milady" he stuttered. I laughed._

"_Regina," I introduced myself shyly. "Please, call me Regina." I nearly swooned when he repeated my name in that husky accent of his. I didn't think the night could get any better after that._

_But it did._

_We danced until the clock struck midnight, at which point he regretfully bid me goodnight. "It was a pleasure meeting you Regina. I do hope we see each other again."_

_I could barely respond as he gently lifted my hand and kissed it, his lips softer than anything that had ever touched my skin. Then he slinked off into the night, as silent as the wind_

_Sigh… I still don't know his name, but I'm hoping against hope that our paths will cross again soon! One thing's for sure, whatever Tink has planned for tomorrow surely won't be able to top tonight!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>July 16, 1997<strong>_

_Dear Diary,_

_Tink will be here any minute now. She said I would have my present right at midnight; it's 11:45 now.I have to admit, even as I sit here penning this, I'm incredibly nervous. Tink has always loved surprises, but sometimes her idea of a "surprise" is more like a nightmare…_

_I think that blasted little fairy has _completely _lost her mind! She just flew into my room, grinning like the Cheshire Cat that had swallowed the Door Mouse. Something was not right here. She was grinning far too broadly and her eyes darted around my chambers with alarming speed. She fluttered up and down; shifting from foot to foot- though her slippers barely touched my hardwood- as though she was waiting for Rhuel Ghorm to come hall her back to the Fairylands by wing tip. I wondered nervously what havoc she'd just wrecked before coming here._

_"Alright," I asked, narrowing my eyes playfully and tapping my foot at her suspiciously peppy attitude. "What is it? What trouble do I have to bail you out of this time?"_

_Her grin simply widened, "I got it," she said, holding up a velvet bag tied with gold sting and waving it triumphantly in front of my face._

"_Got…. what?" I asked, utterly perplexed._

"_Pixie Dust!" she squealed, pouring some of the gold dust out onto her hand and showing me._

_My eyes widened in shock, "Tink, where did you get..." I didn't understand. The contents of that bag were WAY more than the fairies' monthly allowance. How in the world had she gotten so much? "Did Blue really give you all that?"_

_Tinkerbelle smirked, "And then some." I eyed her, suspecting there was more to the story, but she was so enthusiastic that I had no other choice but to follow as she took my hand and dragged me outside on my large balcony. "Come on," she exclaimed. "Let's go! Helping you find your happiness, saving you, that's what going to save me."_

_At this, my eyes narrowed and she slowed her pace, "Tink..." I asked, "What are you up to?"_

_Her bright eyes sparkled as she squealed, "I'm taking you to meet your True Love!"_

_My mind reeled and I staggered backwards. "Wait, what?" I stuttered. "Tink, how is that possible? Fairies aren't allowed to interfere in a mortal's love life unless given explicit permission by Blue and…" I gasped as the horrifying realization dawned. "Oh my God! Tink, please tell me you didn't…."_

_She looked away guiltily, and my nostrils flared. I snatched her satchel and held it up, "This isn't your Pixie Dust, is it?"" I asked again, biting off my words in fear and anger. _

_Tink shrugged indifferently. "When you think about it, does anyone really own pixie dust?"_

_My gaze blazed a flaming red and I was sure that smoke was going to come out of my ears any minute. "Tink! Are you insane?! If Blue found out you stole this, she would skin you alive! You could lose your wings over this!"_

"_Don't worry about me," Tink replied soothingly. "This is about you. Come on!" _

_Don't worry? DON'T WORRY? Has she been drinking Poppy nectar? How in Hecate's Mist am I not supposed to worry when my friend is risking her wings, risking her _life, _to try and help me?! I tried to object that I didn't WANT her gift, as sweet a gesture as it was, that she needed to return the dust before she got caught and Blue skinned her alive. But I didn't have the chance to utter a word before she doused me with the stolen magic and dragged me off into the night._

_In a blink, we'd reached the end of the pixie dust trail, just outside of the local village pub. As Tinkerbelle chatted away excitedly, all of my fears came rushing back. What if the pixie dust was wrong? Could I ever really find the one person I'm supposedly destined to be with? Could I ever learn to trust anyone else with the dark secrets of my past? Of my mother and all the oppressive thing's she'd done to me? And if I did…would he still stay? My breathing came in short, rapid breaths and I backed away from the door and slunk into the shadows._

"_I just need a moment," I whispered, hating the way the raspy edge to my voice showed how terrified I really was, despite doing my best to hide it. Why did I ever think I could do this?_

_Tink's eyes filled with sympathy as my fear finally registered, The fear of being rejected. Of finding out I was just as worthless as my mother had always told me. I didn't think I could handle it. Her sparkling eyes softened and she placed a hand on my arm, "You're nervous," she said. I nodded wordlessly, suddenly feeling like a toddler again, rather than a 20 year old princess._

"_I get it." she smiled softly, "but I promise, you can be happy,. If you just give yourself the chance. Pixie Dust never lies." I smiled a wan smile as Tinkerbelle turned back to the door, "And look," she exclaimed, pointing and grabbing my hand "There he is. The Man with the Lion Tattoo,"_

"_That's him?" I asked, trying to see what he looked like aside from the puff of green dust surrounding him…. From the back he kind of reminded me of… .I shook my head. It couldn't be the man I danced with. He was a bandit; surely he wouldn't be leisurely lounging about in the village tavern… would he? No, it was impossible. My bandit, if he didn't keep running, he could easily be caught….so this man couldn't be one in the same with him… Right? _

_I looked again, willing him to turn toward us so I could try and catch a glimpse of his eyes, the only thing I remembered clearly from last night's ball.._

_The man had his back turned to us, but it was easy to tell he had quite a muscular build. He seemed to be holding court with a group of men. I saw one of them lean over and say something to him, and his hearty, genuine laugh echoed off the tavern walls. It was music to my ears.._

"_See?" she chided gently, "you like him already."_

_I said nothing, but my smile widened slightly._

"_Well?" Tink encouraged. "What are you waiting for? Go meet him."_

_All at once, I felt the ground sway under me. My gaze became clouded in dizziness and I grasped Tinkerbelle's hand for balance., "What if he doesn't like me?" I whispered. nervously. _

_She sighed and squeezed my wrist back in reassurance. "Of course he'll like you! He's you're True Love!"_

"_But how do you know that? Just because the Pixie Dust said so it doesn't mean…" I trailed off, getting more anxious and upset by the minute. I could almost hear the night ticking away in my head, taking my chances with it, but at this point, I didn't know if I cared._

_Tinkerbell led me under the shade of a nearby tree and beckoned me to take a seat on the grass. I hesitantly obliged, watching her suddenly pensive face as she let out a long breath. "I'm not supposed to be telling you this," she started, "but I think it will help."_

_I waited, eager to hear what came next._

"_When we use a spell like this, the Pixie Dust tells us Fae something about the people we are connecting."_

"_So you know about the man with the lion tattoo?"_

"_Not much, but I believe I know enough to help you. You've been rejected and unloved by many people over the years, Regina. You know you are better than they say. And yet those people still hold a power over; you. You constantly hope for their approval, and you wonder how any man could ever love you, if your own mother doesn't. Am I right?"_

_I nodded my head._

"_Well, so does he."_

"_Really?" I asked, somewhat bewildered at that information._

_Tinkerbelle grinned sadly, "Her name was Marion.. He thinks it's his fault she died, but… Well, he'll tell you that himself," she said, and I guessed she couldn't reveal too much._

_The point is, he's not only your chance at happiness, you are also his."_

_My eyes widened and the fairy smiled, "He understands what you're going though. Take this chance, and you can work through it and be a family together._

_I studied Tinkerbelle, biting my lip as a small flicker of hope lit up my eyes, "Alright, I'll do it."_

* * *

><p><strong>July 17, 1977. 3:30 a.m. <strong>

_Dear Diary,_

_Last night, or, I guess, this morning, was one of the most amazing nights of my entire life! Remember when I said nothing could top the Masquerade? Well, I've never been so happy to be proven wrong! Tink is the best friend in the world; I don't know why I ever doubted her. I was so nervous! But, as usual, Tink saved the day._

_Tink smiled while shrinking back to fairy size. "Good. I'll be right here if you need me.," she assured me as I made my way to the door and opened it cautiously. I looked around, trying to spot the Man with the Lion Tattoo. When I finally found him, he was still at the bar. I starting walking toward him, but stopped short before I could get there. How awkward would it be if I just walked up and introduced myself for no reason?I shuddered to think of the strange looks that would surely follow me if I moved another step. "What do I do?" I whispered frantically._

_Tinkerbelle laughed a bit, and I glared at her. "This isn't funny!" I hissed, but she waved me off nonchalantly._

"_Go sit down and order a drink, I'll get his attention._

_I did as she said, scanning the vast list of options before finally choosing a simple chocolate malt. It used to be my favorite treat as a girl, but mother hadn't let me have one in years._

_Tinkerbelle tapped the man on his left shoulder so his gaze was fixed on… me. Our eyes met for the briefest of moments, I felt something. Like a spark of electricity, warming my entire body, from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. It made my skin tingle and I wondered if he felt it too. I looked down at my drink as my cheeks pinkened in embarrassment. When I glanced up again, I saw Tink smiling triumphantly as the man got up and made his way toward me._

"_Be right back, boys," he said, still staring at me in a dream-like trance. I sucked in a sharp breath when I realized who he was- the bandit from the ball! It _was _him! I put my hands in my lap and rubbed my sweaty palms on my dress as my mysterious masquerade partner pulled out a stool and took a seat beside me._

"_Excuse me, miss, I don't believe we've met. I'm Robin Hood, but my friends just call me Robin." He smiled a gleaming smile that would've made my knees weaken had I not been sitting down already. He stuck out his hand and I shook it nervously._

"_I'm. . . um. . . my name is Regina," I stammered, but my eyes were bright with happiness. There was just something about him._

"_Regina? As in Princess Regina of Millshire?" he grinned. _

_I smiled sheepishly, avoiding his gorgeous eyes, "One in the same," I murmured._

_Robin, as he was apparently called, gazed at me in bewilderment, "You're….um….not in the castle, m'lady."_

"_I, do go out once in a while, you know. I'm not only a princess… bandit," she smirked._

_The outlaw gasped and let out a nervous laugh.. "No, of course not! It's just...uh… I...er… I'm very glad you came out tonight." Robin smiled, "I did not expect to be in the presence of your beauty again so soon… if ever," he replied shyly._

_I blushed. Just then, the band of minstrels on the small stage at the back of the tavern began playing a slow song. Robin held out his hand and stood to bow gallantly, "May I have this dance m'lady?" he asked, emerald eyes gleaming._

_In spite of myself, I let out a light, girlish giggle before pulling my hand back slightly, "I'm not much of a dancer," I admitted sheepishly._

"_Nonsense," Robin said, waving his hand dismissively and pulling her out into the middle of the floor, causing her to shriek happily, "I remember you danced beautifully last night. Only stepped on my feet but once," he quipped._

_I laughed, but was still unsure, "I don't know…"_

"_Come on," Robin coaxed. "It'll be fun."_

_And fun it was. Tonight I was happier than I'd been in a LONG time. Simply, letting go, having a good laugh, and letting myself be, for however long it lasted, not a future Queen or Princess, but just, plainly, wonderfully, Regina._

_I caught Tink's eye a few times, and she was smiling widely at the whole scene. After dancing to nearly five songs, I decided I had to rest. "That was the most fun I've had in, well, a very long time," she admitted, smiling shyly at Robin._

"_I'm glad you enjoyed yourself Regina. You're a fabulous dancer,"_

_I blushed deeper, "Why, thank you."_

"_The only other person I can remember having such fun with…" he trailed off and looked down. I was cautious as I bit my lip and attempted to lay my hand atop his, but when he smiled at the gesture, I relaxed._

"_I know what it's like to feel like you're never good enough," she whispered sympathetically._

_Robin looked up sharply, surprised that she could figure it out so quickly. Regina sucked in her breath, wondering if she'd gone too far, "I'm sorry". She apologized, "I didn't mean to overstep."_

_The man shook his head, "She was a lovely woman.. Would've been such a great mother," he said wistfully, "It was that damned soldier Nottingham who corrupted her. Stole her away and let us think her dead, he did.. And poor Roland never understood…"_

"_Roland?" I asked, squeezing his hand in sympathy. ._

_At that moment, the tavern door swung open and a cool burst of air blew through the room. A small blonde boy ran inside, clad in nightclothes. A very frazzled looking nursemaid followed him closely._

"_Papa, papa!" the boy exclaimed, running to Robin, who swooped him up high in his arms._

"_Rolly, what are you doing out so late?" he asked, kissing the boy's head._

"_I'm sorry sir," the nurse said, "but he insisted on seeing you."_

"_It's quite alright Margaret," he replied kindly to the nursemaid._

_My heart melted fu\rther as I watched him interact with his young son, never having guessed until now that an outlaw could have such a way with children._

"_You promised you would come say goodnight to me." Roland pouted, his front lip sticking out slightly. I thought he was the cutest thing I'd ever seen._

_Robin looked at his son, suddenly disappointed with himself. "I'm sorry, my boy, I got…" he looked shyly at me and my eyes lit up in delight, "distracted. I promise I will come put you to bed right now."_

_It was only then that the boy noticed me smiling at him. He smiled back and waved shyly. "Daddy," he whispered, "who's the pretty lady?"_

_Robin laughed and I blushed at the complement. ._

"_Roland, this is Regina. Regina, this is my son Roland."_

"_Nice to meet you, young man," I smiled and curtsied, which made Roland laugh._

"_Nice to meet you too, Miss Regina. Are you going to be my new mommy?" he asked curiously._

"_Roland!" Margaret hushed the boy as the other two adults laughed nervously and blushed, I thought nothing of it, in fact I was elated at the sentiment, dreaming in spite of myself that one day such a thing might be possible… If I can ever get away from my mother and her rigid wishes for me. "Come now, you've seen your father, let's get you back to bed."_

"_Aww," the little boy whined._

_Robin kissed him on the head and set him back on the floor, "Go with Margie now young man, I'll be along in a minute.."_

"_Promise?" Roland asked, sticking out his pinky. His father laughed and wrapped his bigger finger around his son's._

"_I promise."_

_The boy smiled and happily bounded out the door after the maid._

_Robin looked awkwardly at me, "Well, I guess I must be going," he said reluctantly._

_I smiled, hoping my eyes didn't give away my disappointment. I didn't want him to leave, not yet, "Yes, I suppose you must."_

"_Will I see you again?" he asked as he headed toward the door._

_Oh I sure hoped so! I nodded my head, grinning widely, but trying not to seem too eager,"Tomorrow night?"_

_Robin smiled and kissed her lightly on the cheek, "Until tomorrow then, Regina."_

_And then he was gone._


End file.
